3. Six hours after you go to sleep, have a friend, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "your
watch."
4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level.
5. Every time there's a
thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you're nauseous.
6. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage on the other side of
your bathtub.
7. Wake up at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread. (Optional: half a cup of coffee/tea with cold water and a bit of salt added for realism).
8. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose and
turn it on full blast over your head for 4 hours while you swing around on your clothes wire.
9. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.
10. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
11. Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout "Man Overboard", run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off the counter onto the floor, then yell at your
spouse for not having the place "stowed for sea."
Number 8 seems seems to ring a very true note with me!
